100 DAYS UNTIL OUR ELECTION

TODAY MARKS 100 DAYS UNTIL OUR ELECTION. ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE DOING YOUR PART TO GET THIS CRIMINAL OUT OF OFFICE. IF NOT, YOU HAVE A C-NOTE LEFT. START!


I recognize that every time there is a Presidential election there's a chorus of people saying how this is “the most important election of our lifetime”. And I know a lot of people roll their eyes and ask how can every election be the most important election of our lifetime? Well the simple truth is that until you get to the end of your life and take an inventory of how things worked out for you in 4-year chunks, every election that comes up is in fact the most important because it is the most present. And elections have consequences. I’m sure there are plenty of people that thought 45 was doing great until Coronavirus came along. But it did! It came along during his 4 year chunk and 148,00 people are dead. Largely in part because of his mismanagement of it. So fuck your 401k, grandma’s dead.


In English football there was a thing called “Relegation”, and what relegation means is that the worst team in the league gets sent down to a lower league. So it's very important for each club to play well all the time. Because next year, that team might find itself in a lower-tier group. And who wants that? How embarrassing. It’s like getting into college and then having to go back to High School after fucking up so badly your freshman year at Uni. It would be like the Redskins being moved down to college and calling themselves “The College Washington Football Team.” But in America, we really don't have a concept of being moved downward. However, we as a country are moving downwards as our reputation around the world has taken a hit like it's never taken before. “America First” has made us “America Alone”. This President has left a void around the world that is being filled by the Russians, the Chinese, and other actors that don't have the moral standing we used to have. America used to be “The Shining City On A Hill”, now we’re the house at the end of the block whose yard is overgrown and who’s owner brandishes a gun and talks about how there weren’t niggers living down the street back in the day. You can call it “The China Virus” all you want, but because of our handling of it, the world won't fucking let us come to their countries. You can't blame the handling of the virus on Xi Jinping. So this election is important.


I'm a big fan of The Bachelor franchise. I can't lie, I love me some Chris Harrison. And I love watching pretty women get picked off one by one. Maybe because I was the chubby funny guy that hot girls hung out with, and I made them laugh for hours, then they went and screwed the quarterback. Sexy does recognize sexy. It's some sort of subconscious revenge for all the thousands of dollars I spent on hot women before they went and screwed the quarterback. I seem to have a deep seeded hatred for quarterbacks, but I digress. I just was too short to see over the offensive line and had calves too small to be a QB, and I digress again. But before every commercial Chris Harrison teases that what is coming up after the break is “the most whatever ever in the history of The Bachelor!” “You're about to watch the most romantic proposal ever / the most heart-wrenching scene ever / the most embarrassing breakdown ever!” And I say to myself, “Come on Chris. Not everything can be the most everything every time!” But then I watch, and I'm like, “God damn you Chris, you did not oversell it. That was the most romantic proposal ever! Where can I pick up some tissues because I'm crying up a storm over here.” So when people say that this coming up election is the most important ever, that's not the same bullshit.


We have a rogue President that doesn’t respect or understand the mechanisms that make this country great, and I don't believe that we have ever had one of those before in our lifetimes. Even Nixon turned over the tapes when the Supreme Court said he had to. Where are Trump’s taxes? Does anyone out there believe that Trump will leave peacefully if the rigged system says that Biden is the winner? We have a President that does not respect the rule of law, someone who is quite possibly compromised by Putin, someone who is trying to monetarily benefit from the office, someone who is blatantly unfit for the office, someone who sits back on the cusp of 150,000 Americans dying of Coronavirus, someone who is purposely dividing us as a country! You have to do everything you can to get this man out.

And when I say you, I mean “YOU”. I’m challenging you! I haven’t put 600+ hours in 4 months into the “Kelly Perine Banner Project” for 110 days straight because I didn’t have anything else to do. I did it because I believed it was important. I believe that it is important. And I’ll go another 100 if I have the strength. That means having uncomfortable conversations with friends and family. That means you engage when otherwise you would not have engaged. I understand we're all afraid and hate confrontation, but for the next hundred days we are going to have to confront. We're going to have to be uncomfortable. We're going to have to rise to the fucking occasion and not just hope, but also take action. You can say whatever apologies you think you need to say in 101 days. But I don't want four more years of fucking Trump because you didn't want to have to say anything to one of your Facebook friends. Fuck them. Fight them. Make sure that we get our democracy back in a hundred days!

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