HAPPY JUNETEENTH! THANK YOU TRUMP FOR SCHEDULING RALLYS ON BLACK HISTORICAL DAYS. WE’RE LEARNING STUFF OPPOSING YOU. DO ONE AT KWANZAA
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT’S ABOUT.
Man Trump. This racist shit really backfired on you bigly because the world became WAY blacker than it ever was during your Presidency. Now every black person has a PHD in blackness, and a lot of white people are declaring it as their minor. You made me look up some black people shit that I had just moved to the back of my mind. I looked up the Jim Crow era and its lasting effect on today’s society. I know about Brown vs. the Board of Education, where the segregation of children in public schools was ruled to be unconstitutional. I know the date when Harriet Tubman refused to move to the back of the railroad car. Wait, I think I’m confusing her with Rosa Parks. But they were both strong Black Queens who were or will be played by English chicks in the movies. So thank you Trump for uniting black people in a way you never imagined. Obama would never have given Nancy Pelosi permission to wear a Kente Cloth for any reason. And he was from Kenya. And white folks, don’t act like you know what Arbor Day is about. But if Obama wanted to get rid of it, you’d be planting trees fucking everywhere. Trump didn’t take the hatred towards black, brown, and Jewish people at Charlottesville seriously. And a white girl got killed. He didn’t take the Coronavirus, which disproportionately kills us twice as fast, seriously. And you’re not taking the systemic violence and racism towards us in the forms of mass incarceration and killings seriously either. You asked what did we have to lose? The answer is EVERYTHING!
So here we are on June 19th. Juneteenth 2020. On June 19, 2019, I’m pretty sure I was at a pool party somewhere, drinking a beer, trying too convince anyone who would listen that this was the Dodgers’ year. Not sitting quarantined in my house, drinking a beer, trying to re-litigate on social media the Civil Rights movement. Not debating if my life matters, or how to phrase that so people don’t get offended. Thanks Trump for my 2020 “Blokenesss”! (That’s black wokeness if you couldn’t guess) So on June 19, 2021, I will hopefully be at another pool party, drinking a beer, trying to convince anyone that listens that I think that the Dodgers are going all the way. I’ll joke about how wearing a mask for 8 months was in fact some bullshit, and not get too deep into it when somebody says that without Trump’s strong leadership we would have lost 1 Million folks instead of 200K to Covid-19. Then I’ll remind them that Biden won! But we all won’t be ignorant any more of what happened today in history. We’ll all know that Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day, Jubilee Day, and Cel-Liberation Day, is an American holiday celebrated annually on June 19. It commemorates when in 1865 Union General Gordon Granger read federal orders in Galveston, Texas, that all previously enslaved people in Texas were free. Next year I’ll think about that, pick up a shot of Tito’s vodka, proudly made in Austin, Texas, and do a shot for Donald Trump. Then I’ll go and plant a tree for Obama.